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Fishin' Jokes by "Fishermen" Heard a good fishing joke lately? Let our readers share in the laughter too. Submit your joke by clicking below and following the directions. (We reserve the right to exclude any joke on this site, so keep it clean!!)
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Fishin' Jokes by "Fishermen" Heard a good fishing joke lately? Let our readers share in the laughter too. Submit your joke by clicking below and following the directions. (We reserve the right to exclude any joke on this site, so keep it clean!!)
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Jokes:
Name: jonny
Email: j_paratory@hotmail.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: dung park
Date: 04/28/08
Time: 08:39 PM
i rooted your mum
Name: verierty
Email: baker.kasia234@btinternet.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: cornwall
Date: 03/28/08
Time: 09:11 PM
Q:WERE DO YOU WEIGH A WHALE? A:AT A WHALE WAY STATION!
Name: Mow Mow
Email: one flewoverthe coo coosnest
Favorite_fishing_hole: the one's with fish
Date: 01/27/08
Time: 11:58 PM
The Fly.This fly was hovering about 12 inches from the water a fish saw this and said if that fly would drop 6 inches I could jump out and get that fly and have a good meal, at the same time a fisherman saw the fly and the fish and said, if that fly droped 6 inches that fish would jump up and get the fly and I could throw in with my fly and catch that fish and I'd have a good meal, at the same time a bear saw the fly , the fish, and the fisherman and said, if the fly dropes 6 inches the fish would get the fly, the fisherman would get the fish, and I could run down and get the fisherman, well at the same time a cat was up in a tree and said, if that fly drops 6 inches the fish would jump up and get it, the fisherman would throw in and catch the fish, the bear would run down and get the fisherman, and I could run down and get that fish and have a good meal, all of a sudden the fly droped 6 inches the fish jumped up and grabed the fly the fisherman threw in and caught the fish the bear ran down and grabed the fisherman the cat grabed the fish and got knocked in the water by the bear, MOREL OF THE STORY< When the FLY DROPS SIX INCHES, AND THE PUSSY GETS WET, SOMEBODY IS GETTING SCREWED,,,
Name: Bobby
Email: bobby43@hotmail.com
Favorite_fishing_hole:
Date: 04/03/07
Time: 08:29 PM
blonde was walking with bag she saw her friend and her friend asked her what was in the bag the blonde said fishes her friend said if she guess how many fishes were inside, the blonded would have to give her one the blonde replied and said, i'll tell you what, if you can tell me how many are in the big i'll give you BOTH of themm
Name: Ed Gamba
Email: eeg2@pge.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Not saying
Date: 03/26/07
Time: 02:17 PM
Do you know what the fish said when he swam up to the cement wall? DAM
Name: John Cullen
Email: hammerjohn@sbcglobal.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: Port of Sacto
Date: 12/17/06
Time: 08:54 PM
A marriage license should be like a fishing license. It expires every year and if you go out of state you can get a 3 day license. If you think about it, girls and fish have a lot in common. They are fun to catch and if you clean and prep them right, most are good to eat. Also, if you decide to mount one you know it's going to cost you plenty. If you bring one home (no matter how well you treat them) they start going bad and fresh ones are always better. Practice Catch and Release.
Name: domonick bechtold
Email: suckcock@yahoo.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: ur mom
Date: 12/12/06
Time: 10:59 AM
if ur mom is free e mail me and i'll pay top $!!!
Name: Bill Nelson
Email: jdrrbill@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Ky Lake
Date: 10/28/06
Time: 03:48 PM
Went to the lake the other day .I saw a sigh that said, "guided fishing trips $75.00 a day , just go into the store and ask for lucky"
Name: Bill Nelson
Email: jdrrbill@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Ky Lake
Date: 10/28/06
Time: 03:48 PM
Went to the lake the other day .I saw a sigh that said, "guided fishing trips $75.00 a day , just go into the store and ask for lucky"
Name: Don R
Email: CUZITSFNY@AOL..COM
Favorite_fishing_hole: DISCOBAY
Date: 08/30/06
Time: 05:33 AM
HUSBAND AND WIFE GO ON A THREE DAY FISHING TRIP. WEATHER GETS ROUGH AND THE WIFE FALLS OVER. THEY SEARCH FOR A FEW HOURS AND CANT FIND HER. THE CAPTIAN CALLS THE COASTGUARD TO HELP. THEY SEND THE MAN HOME AND AFTER 2 WEEKS OF SEARCHING THEY FIND HER AND SENT THIS LETTER. DEAR SIR, WE FOUND YOUR WIFE ON THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN. ATACHED TO HER WAS AN OYSTER WITH A 50,000 DOLLAR PEARL IN IT, PLEASE ADVISE..HE REPLYS PLEASE SEND THE PEARL AND REBAIT THE TRAP.
Name: arnie
Email: arnie@youkalele.boom
Favorite_fishing_hole: asian supermart
Date: 07/09/06
Time: 10:27 PM
dad was so mad at his son that he was a fruitcake. he decided to put the son in a 55 gallon container full of water and push him down for a couple of minutes and fulled his son's head up and yelled "are you a boy or a girl?" the son replied i'm still a lady so the father push his son head down again determined to change his son's mind once and for all. he push his son's head for a good 10 minutes and pulled it back up and asked his son again, "are you a boy or a girl?" his son replied all wet and tired " i"m a mermaid "
Name: isdaann
Email: isdaann@yahoo.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: American River
Date: 01/12/06
Time: 04:23 PM
Two blondes were walking on each sides of the American river. One yelled to the other, How do I get to the other side. The other blonde yelled back, You're already on the other side.
Name: Mario
Email: bigbluevan543@hotmail.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Anywhere in WV
Date: 11/10/05
Time: 03:52 PM
Q: How many surrealist painters does it take to screw ina a lightbulb? a: a fish
Name: Mike
Email: ekimke@comcast.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: local c&r ponds - lmouth, bgill
Date: 11/07/05
Time: 03:41 PM
Early, last summer, I started catching 2-headed fish late in the afternoon! On my way home I was pulled over by the police for DUI.
Name: JERRY
Email: SERVICE@WHITTIERCARS.COM
Favorite_fishing_hole: HORSESHOE KELP
Date: 11/26/04
Time: 02:23 PM
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CATFISH AND A LAWYER? ONE IS A SCUM SUCKING BOTTOM FEEDER AND THE OTHER ONE IS A FISH.
Name: SeaBass
Email: tropic@hotmail.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Delta
Date: 03/23/04
Time: 10:57 PM
Hey guys... dont know if you know this or not.... but blonde jokes only apply to BLONDE WOMEN!!!! Lets not offend our babes!
Name: julian
Email: nakaskn@netzero.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: port of sac
Date: 02/17/04
Time: 02:10 PM
3 blonde dudes go fishing on the American River. A game warden comes along and taps one of the guys on the shoulder and asked to see their fishing licenses. "We don't have any." replied the first blonde "Well if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the game warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the ends of are lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The game warden checked each line and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied to each line. "Well I know of no law against it," said the game warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that the game warden left. As soon as the game warden was out of sight, the 3 blonde guys started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb fish cop," the third blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know there are STEELHEAD in this river!? Phish on!!!!!
Name: Cherri Bustermun
Email: eaglelady@jps.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: West Riffle---Klamath River
Date: 12/30/03
Time: 06:03 PM
Three Blondes were going ice fishing. Once at the lake they stopped by the store to get some bait. One of the blondes asked the clerk if he had any ice picks and tne clerk pointed her toward the end of the isle. They purchased the bait and 3 ice picks and went merrily on their way. After about an hour another one of the blondes, looking a little frazzled, came into the store and picked up the last three ice picks. Of course the clerk was a little puzzled but decided not to get into what could be an embarrasing conversation. Another hour latter the third blonde came into the store, looking even worst for the wear, and asked if the clerk had any more ice picks. Now this time the clerk just could not hold his tongue and asked "what in the world do you ladies need with all those ice picks". She said "we're ice fishing stupid and we've just about got the boat in the water".
Name: keith
Email: n/a@@@@@
Favorite_fishing_hole: delta
Date: 11/24/03
Time: 11:06 AM
took my girlfriend fishing today. when she saw my rod she reeled! ***
Name: matt
Email: country_dread305@yahoo.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: sebastian inlet, cape canaveral
Date: 11/13/03
Time: 11:21 AM
how can you tell the difference when your fishin for bait if it is mail or female??????? the male's get hooked on the lips, the female baits swallow your hook whole...
Name: coot
Email: birds@msn.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: any water that has fish!!!
Date: 04/06/02
Time: 09:19 PM
definition; FISHING; A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end of thr line.
Name: Phil
Email: phildeb2@netzero.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: Middle-fork Yuba (German Browns)
Date: 02/20/02
Time: 04:10 PM
Dumb White-man An old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut, smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the two US government officials from the BIA sent to interview him. "Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white-man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his problems." The chief nodded. The official continued, "Considering recent events, in your opinion, where has the white-man gone wrong?" The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied: "When white men found this land, Indians were running it. No taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo. Plenty beaver. Women did most of the work. Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the time." The chief smiled, and added quietly, "White-man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.
Name: joe mama
Email: joke@yukitup
Favorite_fishing_hole: pacific ocean
Date: 08/17/01
Time: 04:12 PM
where do fish keep their cash?? In a river bank!!! How do fish know how much they weigh??? They check their scales !!!
Name: Erik
Email: tallstr@pacbell.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: Anywhere that serves Jack Daniels
Date: 08/02/01
Time: 07:08 PM
A priest and an attorney parishioner decided to take a day off and go fishing off the Farrallons for rock fish in the attorney's Boston Whaler. The attorney got his line snagged on the bottom and as he was leaning over the gunnel to free his line a wave hit broadside throwing the attorney overboard. Just as the attorney surfaced the priest saw the fin of a large great white circling the attorney with an rapidly increasing pace. Before the priest could even react, the large great white grabbed the attorney in its caverneous jaws and began swiming directly at the boat. Suddenly, with one swift movement of its head, the great white threw the attorney back in the boat. "Oh my lord, I do not believe what I have just witnessed. It is a miracle and the hand of god" said the priest. "No father" said the attorney, "Just professional courtesy."
Name: Russ
Email: rpv@inreach.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Delta
Date: 07/04/01
Time: 12:59 PM
A man was stopped by a game-warden in East Texas recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?!" the warden asked.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!." The game warden was curious now. The man poured the fish in to the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well ?"
"Well, What?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them back?" The game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" The man asked.
"The fish." replied the warden.
"What fish?" The man asked.
Name: johnm
Email: JOHN_MINAHAN@MSN.COM
Favorite_fishing_hole: monterey bay
Date: 06/25/01
Time: 11:10 PM
Gamewarden notices Ken coming in early everyday with a limit of trout. Nobody else catching anything. Gamewarden (out of uniform) strikes up a coversation with Ken in the local bar. Asks how he catches so many fish when nobody else is. Ken invites him to go fishing next morning. They meet on the dock 5AM. They go way down the lake and into a small bay. Ken pulls a stick of dynamite out from under his seat, lights it, tosses it in the water. Starts scooping up fish. Gamewarden flashes his badge. Says "You're under arrest." Ken pulls out another stick of dynamite, lights it, hands it to the gamewarden and asks "Are we talking or fishing?"
Name: JOE ANDERSON SR
Email: JOESRFISH@AOL.COM
Favorite_fishing_hole: EAST CAPE BAJA+ SAC RIVER
Date: 03/24/01
Time: 10:14 PM
Fishing had been horrible at Folsom when suddenly a "big" bite and the line went screaming. Tug and pull and very little was gained. Local diver was in the area so he was asked to drop down and identify the "bite'. He came up and said "You have the biggest cat fish I have ever seen on your line." He was told to go ahead and get the fish and he could have it. He came up empty handed and said," I give up cause that cat is in an old car body and every time I get him part way out he rolls up the window!!"
Name: THE POLACK
Email: GENERAICHEL@YAHOO.COM
Favorite_fishing_hole: SANTA MONICA BAY
Date: 03/19/01
Time: 11:25 PM
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE WANT ADD FOR A FEMALE PARTNER? GENTELMAN LOOKING FOR SPOUSE. MUST LIKE THE OUTDOORS , WOULD NOT MIND DIGGING FOR WORMS, CLEANING THE DAYS CATCH, AND COOKING SAME. MOST IMPORTANT SHE MUST OWN A BOAT. ANY LADY INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP, PLEASE SEND ME A PICTURE OF THE BOAT !!
Name: looop scoop
Email: march21
Favorite_fishing_hole: pardee
Date: 03/03/01
Time: 05:11 AM
I want to now what the trou fishing report is like
Name: ED LEVINE
Email: EDHOTDOG@EARTHLINK.COM
Favorite_fishing_hole: CENTRAL CA.
Date: 02/05/01
Time: 06:05 AM
A friend and I were sitting around fishing when a stranger walk up to us and said two days ago I caught a twenty pound yellow cat, So I ask him where did you catch it at, His reply was, I COUGHT HIM SH-TING IN MY BACK YARD.
Name: Fishbreath
Email: tunakahoona@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: pacific ocean
Date: 02/03/01
Time: 05:58 PM
Didja hear the one about the fishermans daughter?? Oh how she reeled when she saw his rod.
Name: J.Scott McCallister
Email: mooney@inreach.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Eagle Lake
Date: 12/21/00
Time: 12:59 AM
Q;What is the true definition of a fisherman? A; A jerk on one end of a line waiting for a jerk on the other end of a line.
Name: Barry Van
Email: goose7@jps.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: any mountain lake
Date: 11/28/00
Time: 01:41 AM
A guy and his wife go out fishing in a boat somewhere by the east coast. His wife falls overboard, and when he's certain she has drowned, he comes back to shore and reports the accident to law officials. The next morning the constable comes out to his house. Well sir, we have good news, and bad news. Well, whats the bad news? Well, we dragged the bottom, and indeed your wife is dead. Whats the good news? Well, the good news is that she had three crabs and two lobsters clung to her, and we're hauling her back up in the morning!
Name: Ace1
Email: jamn55@otn.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: Sacramento river@Tehama
Date: 11/09/00
Time: 01:59 AM
Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy fisherman!
Name: Ace1
Email: jamn55@otn.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: Sacramento river@Tehama
Date: 11/09/00
Time: 01:59 AM
Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy fisherman!
Name: Ace1
Email: jamn55@otn.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: Sacramento river@Tehama
Date: 11/09/00
Time: 01:55 AM
Vegeterian: Indian word for lousy fisherman!
Name: VIKING LUCK
Email: merrill_ROLAND@EMAIL.MSN.COM
Favorite_fishing_hole: ANY TROUT LADEN HOLE
Date: 10/11/00
Time: 07:13 AM
THEFISH WAS SO BIG,THAT WHEN WE FINALLY HAULED IT INTO THE BOAT,THE LAKE LEVEL DROPPED 4 FEET........
Name: VIKINGLUCK,HAYWARD,CA
Email: merrill_ROLAND@EMAIL.MSN.COM
Favorite_fishing_hole: EAGLE LAKE/SANPABLO DAM RESERVOIR
Date: 10/11/00
Time: 07:10 AM
THE BLONDE DECIDED TO BE A TRUE PROFESIONAL ICE FISHING QUEEN,SO SHE WENT AND STUDIED THE BEST LITERATURE FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS...SHE THEN PURCHASED THE VERY BEST FISHING APPARATUS FOR ICE FISHING,MANY WEEKS LATER ,SHE WENT DOWN TO THE LAKE TO TRY OUT HER NEW PASSION OF ICE FISHING.AS SHE STARTED TO CUT A HOLE IN THE ICE,A VOICE BOOMED DOWN....THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER YHE ICE! SHE KEEPS FISHING,IGNORING THE VOICE,5 MORE MINUTES GO BY,SHE HEARS THE VOICE AGAIN,"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"..SHE AGAIN IGNORES THE VOICE....AFTER ANOTHER 5 MINUTES SHE HEARS THE VOICE AGAIN.."I TOLD YOU,THERE ARE NO FISH HERE"...SHE LOOKS UP,AND ASKS,IS THAT YOU JESUS?..NO THIS IS THE ICE RINK MANAGER......HA HA HA HA HA MERRILL,HAYWARD,CA
Name: Joe McGilli
Email: floydtrout@juno.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Discovery Park-Sacto
Date: 09/08/00
Time: 06:01 PM
A newly wedded couple travels to a lake resort for their honeymoon. They check into the resort and the manager leads them to their honeymoon suite. Immediately the new groom grabs his fishing pole and gear and heads out to the dock on the lake. All day long the groom is there, fishing. Finally at night the manager goes out to the dock and talks to the groom. He asks him if this is his honeymoon. The groom replies yes. The manager then asks if there is something ELSE he should be doing on his honeymoon. The groom replies that his new bride has V.D. so they can't DO that. The manager says, "well there are OTHER things you can do. The groom replies that his new wife has hemoroids so that can't do that either. The manager says, well, there is still one more thing you can do. The groom says his new wife has a gum disease, and her mouth is to sore to even open. The manager thinks for a moment and asks why the guy married this woman if she has so many problems. The groom replies that he likes to fish,....and his wife has worms!
Name: mike werner
Email: spiken_65@hotmail.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: beaver
Date: 09/05/00
Time: 02:28 PM
one time i went fishing and didn't get anything
Name: Alan (Fisherman's Warehouse)
Email: Fishfong@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Anywhere
Date: 08/10/00
Time: 04:06 AM
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? DAM!
Name: George H. Denison III
Email: DenisonIII@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: San Pablo Dam
Date: 08/08/00
Time: 06:04 PM
Heard about the fly fisherman who has been flyfishing for 20 years? Never caught a fly yet, just fish.
Name: masterbaiter
Email: linalu@excite.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: plugen the basshole
Date: 07/23/00
Time: 03:34 AM
why do little girls carry minnows in there pockets?
Answer: so they can smelll like big girls.....
Name: Phil Rouse
Email: phildeb2@netzero.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: middle fork yuba (upper)
Date: 07/12/00
Time: 12:07 AM
FISHING STORY
It was about 9pm on a hot summer night. You know, one of those mid-summer days that have no end – they seem to last forever. Well, maybe not forever, but definitely longer than the bait lasted. We must have run out of worms around 7 o’clock. Three boxes of crawlers gone – with know fish to show either.
We had plenty of bites but couldn’t land not one fish. My buddy Joe blames me, I always brought booze when we went fishing. And this time was know exception, we had plenty. The Three of us had gone through a case and a half of Mickey’s and were working on the last six pak when the bait ran out. So we just sat there telling fishing stories and talking guy stuff – like we always did.
I remembered an old trick I heard years ago. One my grandfather told me, I’d never even tried it. But for some reason found myself thinking about it. I told the guys and they thought it might work so they followed me.
There we were, on hands and knees trying to catch frogs. Joe managed to secure one and chopped it up to bait up his pole. After making a long cast, he sat down and reached into his tackle box and pull out a pack of bells, he placed one on his pole and sat down to finish his last beer.
About 5 minutes later I heard rustling in the over-growth behind us and looked up at my buddies – they had heard it too. As I got up to see what was thrashing around in the bushes, the bell on Joe’s pole sounded off ring , ring, ring. He set the hook so hard he had to have dislocated the fishes jaw.
While he was fighting our first keeper, my investigation of the noises we heard led me to a large gopher snake, which was trying to eat something . He was flopping aroud and trying to wrap his coils around this large dark gray or greenish object.
YES! It was a large ugly bullfrog, and he had the look of terror on its face. I reached down and snickered while saying, “I’ll save you my little ugly friend.” And save him I did – from the snake, but not my hook….. The snake gave up to a short game of tug-of-war and I was able to pry its dinner from its large coils and mouth.
I secured the frog to the rivers bank with my fillet knife, and preceeded to calm down the (now furious) snake with some wiskey (something we keep stowed away for special occasions). I stuffed the bottle down his throat and gave him a little. Then flipped him into the bushes.
It was some time after 10 now and our lanterns lit up the surrounding area like it was still daytime. We passed the wiskey around and joked about the money we spent on bait. Joe made one last cast with the last of the frog bait when it happened. The bushes came alive, all around us there was wild sounds and deep loud croaking – like frogs fighting. I there was such a thing. I just looked at the others with a puzzled look on my face.
I felt something tapping my leg and looked down, “HOLY *&^$#~ (*&&!” I shouted it was a huge snake. I jumped up in the air and back about 5 feet and staired down at the large creature then noticed it had something in its mouth. I looked closer and it was that same snake from earlier – but it had this silly look on its face and another frog in its mouth and I just stayed there looking at us… I looked at my buddies and they had even stranger looks on there faces. Sean pointed to the bushes I follows his finger – “HOLY *&~ *&^^%.” HERE CAME ABOUT 10 MORE SNAKES WITH FROGS IN THERE MOUTHS
Needless to say we had plenty of bait – enough to last all night. To bad the alcohol was all gone :o)
Name: Tom Pham
Email: Forcetmp32@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: anywhere thats not my fish tank!!!
Date: 06/02/00
Time: 12:44 AM
Well here is another one that I found while surfing the internet...
David, the fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided to give his luck a try. On his first day of fishing he had no luck at all but noticed that another fisherman near him that was scooping in one after another. He had to know The Secret. "Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what sort of bait you are using?" he asked.
The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. "Well, I am a surgeon, and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well."
David thanked the man, thought about what sort of bait to try next time, and left.
The next day, David returned to the lake, tried a different bait and still had no luck. Just as the day before, there was yet a different man reeling in fish after fish. "Excuse me," asked David, "but could you suggest a bait that I could try?"
"Well, I can, but I am not sure it will do you any good. I am using a bit of human appendix."
"Hmm," thought David. It seemed that the fish in this lake would require a little more effort than normal. He left, willing to give the lake one more try.
On the third day, David still had no luck. As was usual, there was yet another man near him bringing in fish left and right. David wanted to confirm what he already knew. "Excuse me sir, but are you a doctor?"
"No, I am a Rabbi." replied the man.
Name: mike
Email: mdjtrimm@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: shasta and pacific ocean
Date: 04/30/00
Time: 05:51 PM
On the border between Sweden and Norway, there is a lake which divides the two countries, and every year they have a fishing tournament to determine which country has the best fishermen. Every year, the results were always the same, the swedes would come in with buckets and buckets of fish, and the norweigians would always get skunked! Last year, the Norweigians decided to get sneaky, and sent a spy over to the Swedish camp to see what their secrets were... He was gone for a few hours, and when he returned, he was gasping for breath, and said... "You know what those darn Swedes are doing?"
"THEY ARE DRILLING HOLES IN THE ICE!"
Name: Tom Pham
Email: Forcetmp32
Favorite_fishing_hole: I dont know, how about telling me one
Date: 04/06/00
Time: 10:57 PM
Well it seems that you nice folks love the jokes that I find and post on here soooooo much that I figured that I will go ahead and post another. One afternoon, two worms were crawling through the grass. The male worm said to female worm, "How about if you and I go back to your place?"
The female worm said, "Okay." So, the two worms went back to her place and the male worm noticed that the female worm is wearing a wedding ring.
The male worm said, "I'm sorry honey, but I don't do this sort of thing with married worms."
The female worm replied, "Don't worry. My husband is not coming home."
The male worm asked, "How do you know that for sure?"
The female worm answered, " Well, he got up early this morning and went fishing."
Name: DON PAGANELLI
Email: dpag@jps.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: any place with fish
Date: 03/28/00
Time: 06:01 AM
FISHING; A JERK AT ONE END WAITING FOR A JERK AT THE OTHER END.
Name: Tom Pham
Email: Forcetmp32@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Well anything that will get me a fish
Date: 03/25/00
Time: 07:01 PM
I heard this one from somewhere or someone.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
- One is a bottom dweeling, mud eating, rodent like creature. While the other is a fish!!!
Name: Mark Wilson
Email: mwilson@cdpr.ca.gov
Favorite_fishing_hole: Varied
Date: 03/24/00
Time: 10:14 PM
A man calls home to his wife and tells her to get his fishing rods, tackle boxes and clothes ready. He's going on a once in a lifetime, 1 week fishing trip and has to leave in a hurry. He also reminds his wife to pack his blue silk pajamas. He rushes home, tells her goodbye, kisses her on the cheek and leaves. The husband returns in a week, exclaiming its been the best fishing trip of his life. They caught lots and lots of big fish all week long. But, he exclaims, "you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas". His wife promptly corrected him and said she didn't forget to pack his blue silk pajamas...."They were in your tackle box".
Name: Dean-O
Email: Yeh Sure
Favorite_fishing_hole: Were the fishes is
Date: 03/23/00
Time: 06:22 AM
Bumper Sticker seen on a Pickup Truck: I got a gun for my wife. Good Trade !!
Name: Tom Pham
Email: ?????
Favorite_fishing_hole: Any hole that I can catch a fish
Date: 03/11/00
Time: 06:37 PM
Here is something that I found on the internet, I thought that you nice folks would like it.
Man: Can I have a fly rod and reel for my son?
Fishing Shop Owner: Sorry sir we don't do trades.
Name: Mark Wilson
Email: mwilson@cdpr.ca.gov
Favorite_fishing_hole: In the Water
Date: 03/09/00
Time: 06:51 PM
Just a note from me to the fishermen out there: "Fishermen would be more successful if they fished more yesterdays than todays". Good luck!
Name: Bill Nigh
Email: lema@liberty.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: West Sac. Port
Date: 03/07/00
Time: 08:32 PM
Bill: Hey Phil, are you going fishing?
Phil: Yeah!
Bill: Ya got worms?
Phil: Yeah, but I'm still going!
Name: Bill Nigh
Email: lema@liberty.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: West Sac. Port
Date: 03/07/00
Time: 08:31 PM
“Got Worms” Bill: Hey Phil, are you going fishing?
Phil: Yeah!
Bill: Ya got worms?
Phil: Yeah, but I'm still going!
Name: MIKE HUNT
Email: COBALT4US
Favorite_fishing_hole: LOT;S!!!!!!??????
Date: 03/07/00
Time: 12:38 AM
WHY DOSE A PUSSY HAVE HAIR SO YOU DON.T GET HOOKED!!!!
Name: Jim Bob
Email: Fishing@gonefishin.org
Favorite_fishing_hole: Northfork Nehalem, Oregon
Date: 03/05/00
Time: 12:56 AM
A man and his Son are fishing in a boat the man is catching fish on the right side of the boat and on the left side alternating here and there,while his Son can't get even a bite. His Son asks; Dad how do you know witch side of the boat to fish on? His Dad replies well, Son when "IT" hangs to the right I fish on the right and when "IT" hangs to the left I fish on the left. His Son scratches his head and says yeh Dad, what if "IT" is straight up?? His Dad replies: "Aint no time for fishin!!"
Name: Joe Turner
Email: jturner@hotmail.com
Favorite_fishing_hole:
Date: 03/01/00
Time: 10:48 PM
Two guy rent a boat and go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore.
1st guy: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish!
2nd guy: Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot.
1st guy: You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?
Name: Leo Chang
Email: iho@reeldreams.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: always working, no time...!!
Date: 02/24/00
Time: 11:17 PM
Here is a lesson for guys who is supposed to be out fishing:
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They *#$^ for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...
(She is speaking in a cheery voice)"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called.
Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrifiic.
Great!
Thanks.
Okay.
“Bye bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Name: Alan (Fishermans Warehouse)
Email: Fishfong@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: ??????????
Date: 02/24/00
Time: 10:12 PM
What do all fisherman claim as being Long and Hard? Getting through Kindergarten!!!!!!!!!!
Name: Alan (Fisherman's Warehouse)
Email: Fishfong@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: anywhere
Date: 02/24/00
Time: 10:59 AM
These two blondes were fishing in the American River. A game warden sneaks up on them, and asks to see their licence? The blondes said: were not fishing, the warden replied: who's are those fishing poles? The warden opens his ticket book to write them a ticket, he tells them to reel in their line, as they reel up on the end of the line are MAGNETS, so the warden appoligize's, puts his ticket book away and says he is sorry. When he leaves one blonde says to the other that warden is DUMB, he doesn't know steelhead are in season! Good luck , Alan
Name: Tom Phan
Email: Forcetemp@aol.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: Don't really have one
Date: 02/23/00
Time: 01:56 AM
A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal- Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."
Name: T. Wang
Email: fishtm@hotmail.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: anywhere fish are biting
Date: 02/22/00
Time: 09:01 PM
A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..."
Name: Mike Wagner
Email: mam34@pacbell.net
Favorite_fishing_hole: bayarea
Date: 02/21/00
Time: 12:25 PM
Great Site!! here's the joke:
Two fishermen travel 100 miles to try out a new fishing spot. They buy a variety of bait and lures and rent a boat. After a long day of fishing, the two fishermen return to the dock. The first fisherman pulls their only catch from the live well, a scrawny bass just legal size. He says, "Boy! This fish cost us about $75." The second fisherman says, "Well it's a good thing we didn't catch any more."
Name: Joe Turner
Email: jturner@hotmail.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: folsom lake, Ca
Date: 02/21/00
Time: 03:19 AM
Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop their lines in the water. After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite. Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?"
Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."
Jethro asks, "What did you say?"
Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."
Jethro again asks, "What?"
Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!"
Name: Joe Turner
Email: jturner@hotmail.com
Favorite_fishing_hole: folsom lake, Ca
Date: 02/21/00
Time: 03:16 AM
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, :There's no fish down there."
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."